Who are you? Where are you from? Where are you going? These existential questions have been asked many times over the centuries in one form or another. So, do you really know yourself? Are you confident of what you stand for? As an artist, can you say you know what kind of artist you are? It’s hard to know the answers with a concrete degree of confidence. I should know, because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to adjust my thinking and come to the realization that I’m no longer the young 20-year-old I once was. Not in physical form and certainly not in the way I see life.
Life, if you’re lucky enough to live that long, will invariably change the person you are. How can it not when the people and world change around you?
The other day, I was sitting outside a restaurant when I got a call from my father and immediately started chatting with him in Spanish comfortably. I didn’t think about how I spoke; I just did. Ironically, I’m much more self-conscious of how I speak and how I enunciate words with the locals. In my mind, I wanted to be understood correctly, and of course, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and insult anyone. The Spanish I learned growing up is not the same Spanish they speak here. Of course, we understand each other, but there are discrepancies, and at times, they can matter. Which, on reflection, after hanging up, that a thought popped into my head—“You can only be who you are.”
This then prompted me to think about myself as an artist and the kind of work I make. For the past two years, I’ve been rediscovering my motivations for art and art-making. Being in Spain, confronted by all the history and art everywhere I look, it’s become hard not to wonder who I am now as an artist? Truly, because I’m really not the artist I was once many years ago. My desire for excellence hasn’t changed. However, my motivations to share are not the same. I don’t feel the need for external validation or adulation.
Which brings me back around to my original question. Who are you? Especially as an artist, who are you? Do you like the art you make? If you do, then that’s great! Because that’s one less thing you have to worry about. But I suspect that for many other artists out there, that’s not how you feel. You don’t like your art. You stress over the lines, tones, and shapes in the making and its final result. But you are who you are, and those are the results of your studies and efforts. If you find yourself copying artists in the attempt to emulate them because they’re so cool, you might be a bit misguided. However, if you’re doing it to learn something about design and art-making, then I say you’re on the right track. Because in doing so, you’re discovering something about yourself. That’s what art can help you discover. Art has always been and will always be a way to communicate to the world at large what you value. What you value is a part of what makes who you are. So, just be yourself and make the art that reflects you.
