What does it mean to be excellent? Why does it matter and why even bother? At some point, you’ll probably ask yourself these questions because there’ll be a point in which you’ll find yourself thinking if all your effort is worth it. You’ve spent long hours working hard, no one notices, and maybe they don’t care. You may start to wonder if you even care.

The thing you’re pursuing whose benefit is it for? Your own or others?

When I was a kid, I would look at other artists and be in awe of their work. I could see the passion they put into it. Many of those images felt so alive, and I would fantasize about the worlds they created. It’s what inspired me to start drawing. As I got better, I fantasized about my own work being just as good because at the time I thought I was as good as them, but of course, I wasn’t. Early on, I didn’t care because for me, it was all about the story that I was depicting. I was creating my own stories and my own entertainment.

Later, as I grew older, and I began to get noticed for my “artwork,” I started to imagine what it would like being really good. And not just good but great. I aspired to be a famous artist. I wanted the adoration and validation of my worth in the world. Now that I’m much older and I look back on my life and the reasons I started, it’s in stark contrast to why I keep at it today.

To be great at something, you have to be driven by something. At first, what drives you can be any number of things, and it changes over time, but I think as you keep going, those first desires run out of steam and they morph into something entirely different. This is about the time you begin to find new reasons why you want to be great, and you look for something that truly feels profound. Often, it’s something you feel is greater than simple outward acclaim. You tie it to an ephemeral reason. An undefinable need that eats at you from the inside and doesn’t let you rest. 

Why is that?

Why is it that on the long journey of a road that seems to have no end, you start to doubt those first steps and suddenly start questioning the reasons to keep going? From my own experience, I discovered that I always had known. The excellence I sought was the validation of a life lived with a goal. Best exemplified by mastering a thing. At the outset, we may seek a singular purpose only later to adopt a new one after we feel we’ve reached the end of a road that no longer expresses our desire for a life lived well and full.

The journey of life is the purpose. The goal is the carrot on the stick. I’m a donkey in many ways. I never knew that this was my why. I didn’t see that excellence for its sheer sake was a goal worth pursuing. Those things which come from outside of yourself don’t matter. Getting up every day in the pursuit of your path, developing the excellence you seek, gifts you with self-worth, self-mastery, confidence, courage, grit, perspective, nuance, beauty, grace, empathy, self-reflection, direction, and the list goes on. 

I can’t speak to what other people believe about excellence and their personal goals. Why they started, kept going, or changed. I do know that at some point, we all must ask ourselves why we keep doing it. We get tired, we lose interest, we lose energy and focus. It becomes a grind. I know many an artist that have reframed the problem into something they can square with and that kept them going. But deep down, they’re probably not asking the real question. They’re in a willful state of ignorance.

If you’re an artist, you should ask yourself why. For me, it’s excellence. I’m not simply talking about the mere act of being good at just drawing. The academics of art. For me, it’s excellence in every aspect. Mastery of self-expression, the ability to communicate on multiple levels. The ability to elevate the marks made with sticks and mud and express the fingerprint of a cosmic divinity.

That is a goal worth pursuing. The ability to master a skill that for centuries has preoccupied many till today. The desire to communicate that which is ephemeral to the viewer. In reality, it is the desire to communicate something so ambiguous and delicate that no matter how many words we come up with, it never seems to encompass the true meaning of what we feel.

I bother because it’s my way of saying I’m driven enough to want something badly enough that I was willing to dedicate my life to it. It is my way of showing you how I tried to be my best self.

A great line from a rather goofy film — Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure — “Be Excellent.”