This morning I woke up feeling sore and tired. I didn’t want to get up and work out. I’m sure I’m not alone in this feeling. We’ve all been there. That feeling of dreading getting started. You imagine the pain and the exhaustion. So much easier to stay in bed and sleep a few more minutes or hours.

Still though, when my alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. I eventually got up a few minutes later—5 minutes to be exact. I wasn’t exactly happy about my lack of discipline. I started slowly, warming up by doing 4 sets of burpees. I was just about to stop at the 3rd set when that small voice in my head told me, “You’re warm enough.” I screamed at that small voice and did my fourth set with more vigor to prove that little bitch I was in charge.

We are all currently living in a culture of do more. Grind more. Be your best self. There’s merit in that philosophy for many people and not so much for others. This kind of self-improvement has its fans who have benefitted from it and there are its detractors who absolutely hate it. Which are you?

On this crazy journey of life some people are born into situations that either support them in a positive direction or crush them into the ground. Some folks are born with all the privileges and others eat dirt just to kill the feeling of hunger. Sounds crazy but it’s true.

About 3 years ago, I started to feel that I was unhappy with my art. I felt like my career was a corpse I was dragging along to conventions, networking events, and propping up to clients. I didn’t love my art let alone my career. I could see I needed to change something. I could see in some of my work where it was lacking. Sometimes I knew how to fix it. Overall though, I felt stagnant. Nonetheless, I pushed through until the steam ran out. I hit a wall. A big wall. 

Some people might call it burnout but I don’t think it was. I have a great work ethic. A former boss once told me I was like a bulldog. Once a task is given I will attack it.

I know there are other artists out there that deal with the feeling of being stuck or feeling lost. I know a lot of us artistic types tend to encounter it at various points in our lives. Some are able to reflect on what they are feeling and are able to shift in a positive direction. Whereas others will struggle for months or years beating their heads against a wall in a vainglorious attempt to overcome their personal wall. In the end, how we deal with it comes down to how sensitive you are to your internal environment.

What does this have to do with the title of this essay? Excellence. When I hit my wall—it was more like a mirror that had shattered the notion of who I was and why I made art. That confrontation left me shell-shocked. I felt wounded and a wound it takes time to nurture and heal. In that time I rediscovered my love of art was driven to be good at skill. It was driven by my work ethic. That desire to feel a sense of accomplishment in the production of a work of art.

Excellence in a chosen field or life goal requires that you are driven to push despite how warm your bed is or how sore you are. It requires that you confront the delusions of yourself to meet the needs of the day. I personally don’t think my life or my career is a model for how you will achieve excellence in your pursuits. I do believe that you need to discover that on your own through self-reflection, trial, and error.

Excellence is a lifelong pursuit on a path of a journey without end. Rise and Shine.